Day 7: Stroking

I have just been having a conversation with my dear friend Cam about how good work can be for us humans. It can often have the role in our lives of giving us lots of strokes. That certainly is the case for me with my work. Working in a high school is an intensely social experience. Everyday there are 1200 students in the building and a significant amount of adults in supporting roles. Then there are the parents with whom I also have a large amount of daily contact. All said and done, the role I play at work becomes a significant part of my identity and really gives me a strong sense of belonging. In addition to the security the "role" provides to me, I also get lots of regular strokes from kids, teachers and parents -- all very good for my ego!
Of course in the immediate sense that "safe" little bit of
structure has been taken away from me and I have been left feeling like I am a leaf floating in the wind. Truth be told, we humans are all always floating out there in the ether but we get very sophisticated at holding onto various constructs to add meaning to our lives.
It really isn't until it is taken away that one realizes how much of ones identity is tied to "what one does". Being out of the loop like I am now (and was to some degree with 8 months of traveling) brings up lots of existential questions. I just don't feel as solid as I normally do in terms of knowing who I am. Gosh, maybe, just maybe . . . life is all just one big random experience -- with the only real meaning being the meaning we choose to attach to it.
Actually I think these wobbly moments are good for me. It prepares me for some inevitable times that lie in all our collective futures. Said simply, loss will come to us all in time because we are all mortal. Hiding from those truths, might just make the experience harder when it comes.
I do not mean to be a downer -- I just have lots of time on my hands to contemplate my navel right now..
The rain keeps pouring here on the West Coast. The mountains have lovely sprinkles of white on their slopes.
Until tomorrow...