I spent the night wrestling with my sheets last night. I am not really sure why. It is so hit and miss with how I am feeling lately. One would think that consistency could be a reasonable expectation for how I should feel with these treatments. At times I go through my days feeling like this is not even real. The radiation must be a hoax (a placebo). Then there are other times when it feels all too real. Last night was one of those moments. I just couldn't settle into a good sleep and I couldn't find a natural end point to my night. I had the most bizarre dreams all night leaving me feeling like I was running a marathon. I finally got out of bed at noon feeling completely disoriented and out of it. I am really feeling ready to get my life back.Consistency is what I am looking forward to again: in my routines, in my environment and most importantly in how I am feeling physically. The radiation is definitely making my system work overtime to repair it self. I am just looking for some evenness in my days. Bring it on!
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